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From my new album Nostalgia and Amnesia

by Benjie Loveless

I wrote the basis of this tune many moons ago and would perform a rendition of it with my old band The Blue Humours.

My marriage was disintegrating at the time yet I was willfully ignorant of the situation. I thought I was writing about past relationships using a shaded metaphor of the then recent 911 attacks and american gluttony for consumer goods .

In reality i was summoning a reflection of my own emotional gluttony and the weak foundation on which my romantic and domestic shelter was founded. Like so many young couples, you get this idea in your head of assembling modular components that some how construct a life.

Romantic partner, check. Dog, check, Steady gig, check, Car, check. Pretend you want kids, check. Go in debt for a big house, check. Bedspread, kitchen table, TV, yard, lawn mower, dinner party, mutual friends, plan a vacation, Sunday is our day, alternating holidays with respective relatives, check check check check check. Okay , ready for the rest of my life. Everything thing is in order. Just press that Big round glowing Green "GO" button and everything will be Hunky Dory smooth jazz.. Wrong, in every way wrong.

See, the trap is hard to hard to smell but its delicious at first bite, then it bites you. We get ourselves fixed into a religious habit of relating to our contexts when what we should be doing is figuring out the context of our relationships.

That marriage was lost. That house was lost. We were lost and were from the beginning.

Few things are further from reality than a young american couples dreams, perception of priority or emotional intelligence.